I've discovered some things.

1: Yay Therapy isn't really that difficult. It's not a cakewalk, but it's not as mean as I thought. (:

2: I know why I hate band now, and Fall Out Boy couldn't put it any better: "It was never about the songs, it was competition; make the biggest scene (make the biggest...)" Like, really. That's all Mrs. Pierce cares about, and that's not cool, man, not.cool. =/

3: Um. SHIT I FORGOT. Oh, no wait. I think I'm either being emotionally abused tor taking things out of context. -nod- /not really worried about it for some reason

4: I'm a vampire again. D;

5: I really need to come to terms with the fact that I'll probably never get to go to a concert or meet my bands. I'm just torturing myself thinking it'll actually happen.

6: I might be able to talk my mom into getting me the singing lesson thing I want for my b-day, even if it's my only present and I have to stick with my crappy First Act, four-year-old-and-getting-older guitar for a while. (:

7: Barre chords suck.

8: ...I don't know why I'm still writing. It's not like anyone reads this.

9: One more thing: screamo is amazing. Especially Bring Me The Horizon. ('course, they're British, so of course they're awesome, but)

I Just.

Third grade. Third fucking grade. That was the last time I could look in the mirror and think, Hey, I look kinda good. And third grade was when no one cared.

Third. Fucking. Grade. It started in fourth. And I don't think I've looked at myself and liked what I saw once since then.

God damn it. Now I feel like such a hypocrite. What kind of person does Operation Beautiful notes that hates how they look with a burning, fiery passion?

I want to say I don't care, I really do. But I have to admit, everyone has to admit: even though the inside *counts*, the outside's what *matters* in this world. So if you don't have a nice outside? You're fucked with everything. So I'm fucked.

(I bet if I had either never been born or had been born with a dick instead it'd be easier. -sigh-)

Swing, Swing, Swing, From the Tangles of My Heart is Crushed by a Former Love

My Swing, Swing is nearly perfect. I'm still making mistakes, but, hey. It's gotten really good for a first song. Now to work on singing/playing while singing. Nrgh.

(Now if only I loved the euph as much as I love the guitar. Then I'd be practicing that instead, which I should be doing. But I've come to honestly hate it, so. (:)

I've Become So Numb

It's almost as if they're intent on making me feel like a fucking failure all the time. And I know it's partially my fault. But dammit. "You were just like me with someone disappointed in you", yeah? But they don't wanna think that. And I swear to god, I've always known she prefers Travis, but it also seems like she prefers the friggin' cat over me sometimes.

Nrgh. I don't know if it's just hormones or what. And why is it that the only person I can really, truly talk to doesn't have his internet right now, and I can't text right now either?

Fuck it all. Just fuck it all.

Hello, Fascination

Is it weird that I'd love to have a nose ring/snakebites, and yet I'm too much of a wimp to even get my ears pierced? Huh. I need to make some fake piercings, yeah? Small hoops and magnets, that might work.

'Course, I also need to get all the FUCKING BLACKHEADS gone. >< /outburst Just...nrgh. I need more of those nose strips. Those actually worked fairly well. Argh. Bad Brooke. Think of rainbows and unicorns and sparkles and yay lolololol.

Hap-py.

...Motherfucker.

Blah. I'mma go drown myself in my mp3 and guitar now. -yawn-

I swear to god.

If my mother would just open her damn ears and actually LISTEN to my music, she'd see there are actual emotions in the songs. It's not 'just noise'. I do not care what your fucking pastor says about anything, either. I'm sorry, but I find every religion just a bunch of BS. So stop asking me if I want to go to church with you. Because I will just call him out, ask him questions he can't answer. BECAUSE IT'S ALL BULL. The only religion that I find to be true is Wicca, but I could never tell you that, because you'll see the pentacle representing everything (not the pentagram, pentacle, by the way) and go off on a thing about God and Jesus and the Devil and heaven and hell and I'll just space out like I always do.

I'm sorry I finally found things that I like and that I'm not your clone anymore. Just because I like scene hairstyles and my music doesn't mean I'm a Satanist, and it doesn't mean that I'm gonna be all suicidal. If I've only learned one thing from MY MUSIC (see how it all comes back to that?), it's that suicide is a horrible way to deal with something and you only make things worse, not better. (IE, Lullabies (and maybe Therapy?) by All Time Low.)

Just...argh. Listen to Perfect by Simple Plan and replace 'father'/'dad' with 'mother'/'mom' and you'll see how I feel. 'Cause my dad? He doesn't care that I'm changing, 'cause he knows I'm smart enough to not do things.

I know she loves me, I really do, but this stuff--not just from her, but for the moment she's saying it the most--just pisses me off to no return.

All I want to do is express myself without worrying about her. Is that too much?

what is this i don't even

ffffffffff every time i start to actually feel good about me why does it just i don't get it. and then i'll be all high in an hour or less but damn it why does it just happen.

Oh Thank God My MP3 Doesn't Have a Screen

Seriously. I think my parents would kill me if they knew the stuff I listened to. Not even ground, just go straight to killing me. That, or they'd both have heart attacks. Either way, someone would die if my parents heard any of the music on my MP3. (I say this because I finally got around to putting some Cobra Starship on it, and...yeah. Not exactly parent friendly, haha. Not like most of my other bands are, but these guys... xD;)

Ffffff. The next All Time Low album comes out in January. I CANNOT WAIT THAT LONG FOR NEW ATL. D: Just adfhjkl; I'll have to find more bands to fill the void of new All Time Low. That'll be hard. D: (lolprollynotrlybutletsbedramatic)

Note to self: look up Bless the Fall and Bring Me The Horizon. Even though the latter is screamo. ...Yeah.

Thassit so far. 'Course, it's just eleven am. There's still a whole day.

Ohmailawd

Go by Boys Like Girls. Holy shit amazing. I shall now spam you with lyrics before I talk about my boring day because...ungf, just so inspirational. <33333333

Little change of the heart
Little light in the dark
Little hope that you just might find
Your way up out of here
'Cause you've been hiding for days
Wasted and wasting away
But I got a little hope today
You'll face your fears

Yeah, I know it's not easy
I know that it's hard
Follow the lights to the city

Get up and go
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
Don't look back; just go
Take a breath, move on
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on

Believe the tunnel can end
Believe your body can mend
Yeah, I know you can make it through
'Cause I believe in you
So let's go put up a fight
Let's go make everything all right
Go on take a shot
Go give it all you got

Oh, yeah, I know it's not easy
I know that it's hard
No, it's not always pretty

Get up and go
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
Don't look back; just go
Take a breath, move on
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on

Don't wanna wake up to the telephone ring
Are you sitting down?
I need to tell you something
Enough is enough
You can stop waiting to breathe
And don't wait up for me

Get up and go
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
Don't look back; just go
Take a breath, move on
Or you could spend your whole life holding on

Get up and go
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
Don't look back; just go
Take a breath, move on
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on
Don't spend your whole life holding on

'Kay. Now that that's over with. Bask in the amazing lyrics. Done? 'Kay.

Today was boring. I stopped being a vampire! 8D I don't know how, but I did. I'm ready to crash right now, but I'm happy. My mom and I went to the mall. We ordered my backpack from Hot Topic (http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Clearance/Music/All-Time-Low-Purple-Stitch-Messenger-Bag-156803.jsp) and I got two new scarves from Earthbound Trading Co. Yay. I love those scarves, and now I have three. :3

We also went into Zumiez to see if they had Glamour Kills I ♥ Boobies bracelets, and they were getting a shipment today/tomorrow, so we're gonna go back sometime this week. Why do I want one? To contribute, and I want to Glamour Kills one specifically one for two reasons: one, it's more discreet about it, and two I want something, anything, GK (and or JAGK/Overnight Sensation, but that's a whole 'nother thing). I love that brand. But I have nothing. =(

...Yeah. I'mma go play Go about fifty million times now. kthxbai.

Go Ahead and Cry Yourself to Sleep and Think How You Hate Me So Bad

So. Not really anything today. I've come to terms that I'm an effing vampire and can't go to sleep until ten in the morning, which is blah and I need to stop being a vamp. But, I found this really awesome free guitar lesson thing, and I completed the first lesson. Yay. One step closer. (:

And, see, it's not video, but it's not boring like most books. Which is amazingly rare. And good for me, because that's why it's always so difficult for me to practice. This goes really slow and is made for the complete and utter amateur. So sweet. I'm good. Now just for some kind of singing lessons and maybe keyboard lessons. (And I really need to practice the euph. Eh. I have a month.)

Now. To continue cleaning my room because there's nothing better to do at one thirty in the morning when you can't sleep.

Very Few Songs Sound Bad Acoustic

That is a fact, I think. So far, the only I've found that I don't like is Hero/Heroine by Boys Like Girls. But maybe it's just the bands I like. Of course, acoustic is my instrument love, so. I really need to get to learning it again. But that's one of the goals, haha.

My room is partially clean. I'm so excited. 'Cause that means soon it'll be fully clean. And then I can get twenty dollars, and then a twenty dollar plus allowance for when we figure out a list of chores for me. (Yes, I'm kinda spoiled. You don't know how big it is for me to do chores and keep my room clean though, haha.) And money = more band tees, more CDs, more skinny jeans, more bracelets, more necklaces, and maybe even The Hustler Club and singing lessons. So yaaaay. Needless to say, I need a lot of money for stuff that I want. And I want a lot of stuff. (But that's part of being a teenage girl, haha.)

Now that I think about it, it also includes yarn. 'Cause I really need to get my etsy shop all nice and stocked with more than just one thing. I'm working on a rainbow belt (but I need more colors), and am gonna see if I can make any kind of arm/leg warmer (but I need bamboo yarn to do that, which I don't have). Crochet is so much love. You can make so many things.

I wonder how good yoga is as a routine work out. 'cause I don't like running in this Texas heat (we have a treadmill, yeah, but blah), and I don't have weights, and there's no way I could ever get to a gym. And I think I actually have a yoga video...I need to Google this. Because quitting Athletics was probably a bad thing to do. ><

...Speaking of which. I can't believe it's already June. A month of summer has already passed. Holy crap. ._. Hey, summer, wait up for me. kthx. It's been a hell of a rollercoaster, but that doesn't mean I want school to come faster. 'Cause...eighth grade. ._. Then high school. Then college, or, if I'm lucky, getting on the road and having an online college. So I can make people happy with my music, and also have a back up plan for if we fall under. (If there is a we.)

...yeah. I can't think of anything more. If you read, thank you. (:

Yo

I'm TrebleRebel--call me Brooke. I'm still twelve, but I might as well be friggin' seventeen. Headed to 8th in August. Love All Time Low, Forever the Sickest Kids, Hey Monday, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, Taylor Swift, and many more. Grammar is my lover. But irl I'm single. Love smilies but will try to use as little as possible on here.

I'm here 'cause I have so many things I want to and can do but never actually did. I'm hoping that by blogging about them, reflecting on it, I'll stick to the things.

This should be fun. Let's let it roll.